


Brooklyn Streets and Jersey Sheets

by just_another_tinker



Series: Carrier [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Extremis Tony Stark, Fluff and Angst, Just Add Kittens, M/M, Misunderstandings, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Not Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant, Not Iron Man 3 Compliant, POV Steve Rogers, POV Tony Stark, Shopping, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Team as Family, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2020-12-14 20:08:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21021536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_another_tinker/pseuds/just_another_tinker
Summary: It had been three months since Tony was cured, and Steve Rogers couldn’t be happier. He’s wakes up in a century that he's learned to enjoy, surrounded by people he calls family, next to two men that he loves dearly. Well, it should be two. If only Tony would ever come to bed.Tony said he was busy. And he knew that Tony wasn’t lying… exactly. Every trip down to the lab, with each table littered with projects that only Tony could understand, was more than enough evidence. But it was more than that. There was something else going on.What if something was wrong? What if he’s sick again? What if? What if? What if?Steve shook his head. Tony was fine, he knew that for sure. JARVIS confirmed for him that morning. Everything was fine. So why didn't it feel like it?





	1. Chapter 1

“This is all my fault.”

Steve hummed, only half listening, eyes never leaving the stocked shelves in front of him. These ones looked to be on sale, but for once, Steve could give a rat’s ass about the total price tag.

“I should have lied. I should have said I was busy.”

Tony was worth ignoring a discount. He deserved nice things. Not because he was a billionaire; Tony had made it extremely clear when he and Bucky started dating him that he didn’t need to be showered in luxury every time they went out on a date. In fact, Tony would be more than happy to eat greasy fast food in a parking lot each night if he could. But no, not on Steve’s watch. Tony deserved nice things because he was worth every penny. And more importantly, Tony was now _his. _And let it be said that Steve was never one to short change his boyfriends.

“I even would have done those mission reports I’ve been putting off,” came another complaint.

Steve leaned forward, squinting at the thread count. He couldn’t remember, was more or less better?

“For Christ sake, Stevie, it’s a bunch of sheets, not a calculus problem.”

Steve sighed, finally turning around to face his companion. Bucky was leaning against the other shelf, shooting Steve a dirty look. “What are you complaining about?” Steve asked.

“Complaining makes it seem like I’m whining.”

“Sure sounds like you’re whining,” Steve countered.

Bucky’s frown deepened. “No, whining was two hours ago. Now? Now, we’re in an all-out protest.”

“Buck- ”

“Don’t you ‘_Buck’ _me, Steve Rogers. We’ve been here for hours, and all I’ve done is stare at you stare at bed sheets. Why? Lord only knows.”

“I’m getting sheets for our bed.”

“We already have sheets.”

“These are the ones Tony likes.”

“I don’t remember Tony having an issue with our current sheets.”

“He doesn’t, or at least I don’t think so, but- ”

“Then why are we here?” Bucky moaned. “It’s one thing to drag me along but waking me up before the sun was out was downright uncalled for. Spewing some bullshit about there might being a line. Really, Rogers? The day I see a line of people buying sheets is the day you can ship me right back to HYDRA.”

“Will you quit it?” Steve hissed. “I just want to get something nice for Tony. You and I both know that Tony likes these sheets, so ergo, we’re getting some for our bed.”

“And I had to be here because?”

Steve shrugged. “I thought the company would be nice.”

“I knew there was a downfall to sleeping with you.”

“I didn’t hear you complaining last night.”

“Well, last night you made me a very happy man. Last night I didn’t think I would be brought to a public mall – under false pretenses I might add – for torture of the highest degree. Nat told me you were a nightmare to shop with, but this is just unbelievable.”

“Do you think Tony looks better in blue or red?” Steve asked instead, changing the subject, looking back down at the neat rows of stacked product.

“Tony looks best naked. Preferably after we’ve just had sex.”

An abhorred gasp sounded to their left, and both men turned to see a middle-aged mother scowling at them, her hand yanking at her snickering adolescent son. An apology started to form on Steve’s lips, but Bucky interjected. “Come on, lady. It’s not like he hasn’t seen that shit all over the internet already.”

_“Bucky,” _Steve hissed, smacking his shoulder sharply. When he turned back, the woman was already gone. He could practically hear her fuming a few aisles over.

Steve shot Bucky a dirty glare. “Real nice, Buck. She’s probably gonna go complain to a manager, now.”

“I can only hope,” Bucky deadpanned. “Fingers crossed we get thrown out.”

Steve sent him another dirty glare but opted not to continue. Encouraging Bucky would only end in disaster. He turned back to the colored boxes. It shouldn’t feel like such a hard decision. Steve was sure that Tony would have something nice to say no matter what he brought home, but that wasn’t good enough for Steve. It needed to be perfect. The feel needed to be perfect, as well as the color. And now, he was stuck between red and blue. 

Red seemed like the better choice. Seeing the Iron Man armor glint in the sun was always a sight to behold. But they didn’t have the right shade. There was one that looked more like it would belong on a fire truck and the other was too dark. Crimson, like the color of the blood that trickled out of Tony’s mouth as he laid dying just months ago. Steve frowned, moving away from the red sheets. Turns out it wasn’t the better choice.

Now blue, on the other hand. On the lower shelves there was a dark shade, navy, that had caught his eye. It reminded him of his stealth suit, his favorite one – the first one that Tony had designed for him. Steve pictured Tony laying in the sea of blue, wrapped up in his own uniform’s color. A wave of possessive satisfaction curled in his lower gut. Tony would be draped over them, his tanned skin blending mixing beautifully with the darker pallet. He’d look up at Steve with half lidded eyes and a playful smirk, as his hand trailed down his chest and wiped his hand through -

Steve paused. Maybe Tony did look his best right after sex.

He discreetly adjusted his pants, hoping Bucky hadn’t caught him. He eyed the sheets again. Looks like he finally found a winner.

“Navy,” he confirmed, nodding to himself. 

“Thank fuckin’ Christ,” Bucky moaned, hopping down from the shelf he was sat atop.

Steve rolled his eyes, bending over to look at the bottom shelf. “King, right?”

“California King,” Bucky clarified.

Steve paused in his selection, looking back up at Bucky. “Why does it matter if he got his bed in California?”

“No, you idiot,” Bucky replied, smacking him on the shoulder. “The bed he has is a _California King. _It’s different than a normal king size.”

“Different?”

“Bigger. We needed the extra space because someone likes to spread eagle and hog- ”

“Alright, quit your naggin’,” Steve grumbled, checking through the rest of the sheet bundles. He sighed when he reached the back of the shelf. “How much bigger?” he asked.

“What?”

“How much bigger is the Califronia King?”

Bucky shrugged. “I don’t know, enough? Why?”

Steve rocked back on his heels and put his hands on his hips. “Because they don’t have it,” he murmured quickly, keeping his head bowed.

He could feel the heat of Bucky’s gaze on his neck. “What did you say?” the other man asked quietly.

“They don’t have the size we need.”

“They don’t have it,” Bucky breathed. “They don’t have the _one size_ that we need, is that what you’re trying to tell me?”

Steve nodded slowly. 

Bucky paused, then started to giggle. “No, no way,” he said in between laughs. “No way they don’t have the right size.”

“Buck- ”

“No way that you didn’t check the sizes before looking at the colors, Steve.”

“Well, I- ”

“No way that you woke me up at the ass-crack of dawn and dragged me to this hellhole all for nothing, because you didn’t check the damn sizes!”

Steve looked at the ground, shifting his weight between each leg. “Sorry?” he tried.

“So, let me get this straight,” said Bucky. “We just spent the last three hours choosing between sheet colors for nothing?”

Steve shrugged, rubbing a hand against the back of his neck. “I didn’t think that far ahead,” he admitted. _I was too busy thinking of our boyfriend wrapped up in said sheets. _

“Dammit,” Bucky hissed under his breath, clenching his fists. Steve could see the plates shift on his metal arm and he started to think about the phone call he would have to make to Tony about destruction of public property. But then Bucky turned back to him, smiling sweetly. “Fine then. As reparation payment, you have to buy _me _something from the store. Of my own choosing, of course.”

Steve knew that smile. It was the same one that Nat would wear whenever she wanted Steve to make a bet with her. So far, he hadn’t won a single one. “You gonna make me sit here hours while you shop as payback?”

“Oh no, I already know what I want. I saw it when we were walking in.”

Steve frowned. “This is a trap.”

“Absolutely,” Bucky grinned.

“I’m going to regret this.”

“Undoubtably.”

Steve sighed, reaching in his pocket for his wallet. “Alright, Barnes. Let’s get this over with.”

* * *

The smell of an Italian roast hit them as they exited the elevator, and Steve and Bucky followed the scent unconsciously, knowing who would be at the source. Tony stood at the kitchen island, one hand cradling his mug to his chest protectively, the other furiously typing on a tablet. He was in a suit this morning, probably on his way out to the office. 

It was one of Steve’s favorite looks. Sure, give him a _just-rolled-out-of-bed _Tony any day, but Tony in a suit could always make his heart race. He’d lost way too many a sketchbook to this look. Maybe it was the way that the expensive fabric wrapped around him, fitting him perfectly. Or maybe it was the way that he seemed to have a suit for any occasion. Casual suits that were worn with graphic tees and high tops, things that shouldn’t work together but _did, _frustrating Steve to no end. Day suits, that were meant for meandering down the Seine or whatever bullshit the tailor had tried to spin when selling them. Tony, of course, did nothing of the sorts, but still wore them occasionally when Steve wanted to go to the farmers market, always making the blonde blush. He had suits specifically for his board of directors. Dark colors and sharp lines that looked more like a suit of armor, making Tony seem enough of a predator that made Steve want to do nothing but fall to his knees every time. And Steve couldn’t forget the ones for black tie events. The ones that made Tony look positively ethereal under the gala lights, and the ones that slipped off so smoothly when Steve undressed the man like a Christmas present when they got home. No matter what kind he had on, the way Tony could wear them always made Steve think that he was modeling an art piece, rather than getting dressed for the day.

Bucky must echo his sentiments by the way he swaggered over to Tony and pressed himself against the man’s back, wrapping his arms around Tony’s trim waist. “Come into the kitchen looking like that,” Bucky murmured, pressing a kiss on Tony’s neck. “A man might get jealous knowing you’re wearing it for someone else.”

Tony snorted, leaning back into Bucky. “Yeah, right. Maybe I wore it just for you. Maybe I was looking for a reason to be late to this meeting.”

“We will absolutely _not _be late for this meeting!” Pepper’s voice carried in from the living room as the woman was, no doubt, going over final preparations for the work day. Steve chuckled at the pout Tony gave the unseen Pepper, unable to stop himself from leaning in, pressing a kiss to the corner of the frown.

Tony caught him by the shirt and drew him back in for a proper kiss. “She’s being overdramatic,” Tony said when he pulled away. “I’m sure we can be fashionably late.”

“Sorry, Tones,” replied Bucky, patting the smaller man’s ass lightly. “I can’t risk being on Pepper’s shit list.”

“Some assassin you are,” Tony grumbled, his eyes drawing to the plastic bag Steve was holding. “What’d you get?”

Steve sighed, tossing the bag to Tony. The smaller man dug in immediately, brow furrowing as he pulled out what was inside. “What on Earth is this?”

Bucky started to laugh, tucking his face into Tony’s neck. “It’s Steve’s.”

“It’s _trash,_” Steve scowled.

“UroClub,” Tony read aloud. “JARVIS, what am I looking at?”

“According to the company’s website, the UroClub is a discrete, sanitary way for your urgent relief. Created by a Board Certified Urologist, it looks like an ordinary golf club, but contains a reservoir built into the grip to relieve yourself. The UroClub is leak proof, easy to clean and stops any more embarrassing moments.” A pause. “Shockingly, this product is only seen on early morning informercials. Rarely, at that.”

“Oh my God,” Tony gaped, looking at the box with wide eyes. “This is real?”

“Unfortunately, Sir, this is an actual consumer product.”

“Is there any reason why we now _own _a UroClub?” Tony asked with a mischievous smile.

“I wasted an entire morning at the mall with Mr. Indecisive over there,” Bucky grumbled. “I made him buy me that as recompence. Now, there’s at least two cashiers out there who think Captain America is a weirdo who like to pee in golf clubs.”

Tony guffawed, laughing louder when he saw Steve’s scowl. “And to think I thought today was going to suck.” To his dismay, Steve had thought Bucky had been joking when he showed Steve the golf club. But what the history books won’t tell you, was that James Barnes was much more stubborn than Steve was. _God, _he had never been more embarrassed when he was checking out. What was worse, was that the young girl at the register _definitely _recognized him, and _definitely _had her phone out before they left the store. Knowing Steve’s luck, it’ll be trending by later today.

Steve huffed, grabbing the club out of Tony’s hands, heading over to the garbage.

“Woah, woah, woah!” Tony cried. “This is a perfectly good product. Surely Captain Responsible would donate it to someone in need, rather than send it to an eternity in the dump?”

“Oh, no,” snapped Steve, throwing the box right in the trash. “I’m not falling for that shit again. I remember what happened last time.”

“What happened last time?” Steve turned at the question, watching Bruce patter into the kitchen with a book tucked under his arm. He made his way over to the fridge, only stopping to pluck Tony’s mug out of his hand and down the rest of the beverage, ignoring Tony’s squawk.

“You’re lucky I like you, Banner,” Tony grumbled, preening when Bucky filled another mug and handled it to him.

Bruce ignored the other man. “What happened last time?” he asked again.

“Christmastime last year, Steve volunteered for a rummage sale at a local church and asked us to donate some items in support.”

“A harmless request,” Steve grumbled. “God forbid we be charitable every once in a while.”

“Steve, you came busting into everyone’s room at 5 AM on a Sunday saying you needed to dig through our closets for junk,” Tony countered.

“I didn’t want to show up emptyhanded,” Steve replied, ears turning pink. It was a less than fond memory; let it be said that none of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes are morning people.

“I’m sorry I missed out,” Bruce chuckled. Bruce had been gone on a pilgrimage of some sorts, spending the holiday season in the smaller villages of the Middle East, offering medical training to the local healers. While Steve will always admire the doctor for his humanitarian aid, it always came with the cost of one less sane person in the compound. “I’m assuming what you decided to donate was less than church friendly?”

“What do you take us for? Of course they were, Dr. Banner,” Tony pouted. “We decided to donate some of Barton’s old VCR tapes. I think one of them was actually set in a church, if I’m not mistaken.”

“We even said that we would help Steve bring them to the church,” Bucky added. “You know, like the good God-faring people that we are.”

Steve narrowed his eyes at the two men. Full of shit, the both of them.

“So, just some movies?” Bruce asked slowly.

“Yeah, just some movies, alright,” Steve deadpanned. 

“Said videos may or may not have been old pornos,” Tony snickered. “You should have seen those ladies faces when Steve handed them over.”

It had been absolutely horrible. What was worse, was that he still didn’t understand why they wouldn’t take the movies, until the priest pulled him aside and _explained _it to him. And if one thing had remained the same in the last century, it was how quickly church ladies can spread rumors. A half hour hadn’t passed before the whole congregation knew, judging by the long stares and hurried whispers he got as he passed. That, and the few phone numbers that managed to slip into his pocket while he was there. “It wasn’t funny,” Steve grit out. “I can never go back there again!”

“Oh please,” Tony countered. “You should’ve thanked us. You probably filled up all the confessionals with all those women thinking about what you do in your space time. You could’ve gotten a lot of free dates.”

“To bad I wasn’t interested on going on dates with them,” Steve answered.

Tony’s eyes softened immediately, a shy smile gracing his face. “Lucky for me, I guess,” he answered softly.

“I can’t believe you made me get rid of my stash,” a new voice said. Clint strode into the room, also stopping in front of Tony and swiping his new mug. This time, Tony didn’t get a chance to complain before Bucky punched Clint in the arm hard, the archer whining as he returned the mug to Tony.

“Why did you even save any of them?” Bruce asked. “Not that I want to have this conversation with you, but you do understand you can find that stuff on the internet?”

“Nah,” Clint said, grabbing a banana from the fruit bowl, hopping onto the kitchen island, his feet swinging. “These were from the ‘90’s. _Classics. _They don’t make shit like that anymore.”

“The price of comedy,” Tony sighed.

Clint snickered. “Totally worth it.” He jumped back down to throw the peel out, gasping when he opened the trash lid. “Is this a UroClub?”

Steve sighed, rubbing a hand across his face. “I’m not even going to ask why you know what this is.”

“Dude, this is always on 3 AM infomercials,” Clint replied, tearing into the box. “I’ve always wanted one of these.”

“I’m sorry, since when do you play golf?” Tony questioned. “Last time a checked, it was a gentleman’s sport. And a gentleman, Sir, you are not.”

Clint flipped Tony the bird. “I’ll have you know that I played golf all the time in my youth,” he said, taking the club out and fiddling with the cap on the end of the club. He held it right up to his crotch, eyebrows raising. “It was the easiest way to get cash,” Clint continued, now pulling out the modesty apron and tying it around his waist. “Hustling pool was for chumps, but golf? There’s always rich folk playing golf. Wanna know how long my drive is?”

“You look ridiculous,” Steve answered instead, arms crossing as Clint hid the club under the apron, giggling madly.

“I think you can pull it off,” Tony refuted. “I’ll pay you a thousand bucks if you go golfing with that and use it at least twice.”

“Deal,” Clint replied instantly.

_“No _deal,” Steve growled, grabbing the club out of Clint’s hands. “I do not wanna get a call that you’ve been arrested for public indecency.”

Clint snorted. “Like I’d let the cops catch me.”

“So not the point I was trying to make here.”

“Come on, Cap, it’s a thousand dollars! Think of all the pizzas I can order with that kind of money.”

Steve gave the man a long look before snapping the club in half, ignoring the offended squawk that followed. “It’s times like this that I think I miss the ice.”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Bucky responded, pecking him on the cheek. “You love us.”

Steve rolled his eyes, shoving Bucky out of the way far enough so he could saddle up behind Tony instead, the smaller man fitting perfectly against his front. Tony leaned back into Steve instantly, the man’s shoulders shaking as he looked over at a grumpy Bucky, a look of glee no doubt gracing his face. Steve’s hands drew over Tony’s hips, fingers running up and down the expensive fabric.

“You didn’t come to bed last night,” Steve said casually. Although Tony could lie as easy as breathing, Steve had found that getting him in a more comfortable state, with his walls down, he could catch Tony in the act. It was a dirty tactic, he knew, but Steve was starting to get worried. The amount of times he’d gone to bed and woken up without Tony between him and Bucky were starting to add up.

Lo and behold, Steve felt a slight tension in Tony’s body as his mind no doubt scrambled to come up with a believable answer answer. “I may or may not have procrastinated in more ways than one for this meeting,” Tony said. “You know that board likes it when I come in with something shiny and new for them to play with.”

“Seems to me that the board is getting more time with you than me.”

Tony hummed, and Steve could feel it reverberate against his own chest. “Seems to me that Captain America is jealous.”

“Captain America doesn’t get jealous,” Steve answered. “Steve Rogers on the other hand,” he added, pressing a kiss to the underside of Tony’s ear, teeth scraping gently against the skin. “I missed you, is all.”

Tony squirmed in his hold until they were face to face. “You play dirty, Cap,” the brunette smiled. “Talk like that makes me want to throw you over the nearest flat surface.”

“Shame,” Steve murmured, leaning in close, hovering over Tony’s mouth. “I would have let you throw me onto a flat surface.”

“Oh yeah?” Tony breathed, his breath ghosting over Steve’s face.

“Yeah,” he smiled. But when Tony leaned in to seal the kiss, Steve shot a hand up, pressing his chest back. “If you came to bed last night,” he finished. “Or the night before, or the night before that, or the- ”

“Alright, alright, Rogers,” Tony frowned, smacking him lightly on the chest. “You made your point.”

“I’m just saying,” Steve continued, twining their fingers together. “You work too much.”

“You do realize I have a day job, right?”

“And _you _do realize,” Steve added, “that if you actually asked Pepper for a break, she would absolutely give you one.”

“She would only say yes if _you _asked her.”

“Tony.”

“Steve.”

_“Tony.” _

“Genius never sleeps?”

“I think you’ve used that excuse a few too many times.”

Tony sighed, flopping his head against Steve’s chest. “I know, I know,” he said. “But it’s not a lie. I got a lot of stuff going on up there, and sometimes it doesn’t shut up until I do something about it.”

Steve leaned down and buried his nose in Tony’s mop of hair. He had used Bucky’s shampoo this morning. Steve wasn’t sure if it was the actual scent or knowing that it was one of theirs, but Tony using either of their products always ended up smelling better on him.

Unconsciously, Steve drew a hand up Tony’s back up to his neck, his fingers ghosting over his pulse. It was a new habit of his, one that he couldn’t seem to get out of. Tony, of course, was nice enough not to say anything about it, just leaving Steve to his ministrations. A steady heartbeat drummed under his fingertips. Healthy. _Alive. _It had been months now since Tony got sick, but Steve still couldn’t get it out of his head. The feeling of hopelessness, watching his loved one waste away to nothing in front of him. _Never again. _

The aftermath of the _Jacket Incident, _as Clint liked to call it, hadn’t been easy. Yes, Tony was alive and better yet, in love with him and Bucky, but they still had plenty of bumps along the way. Both Bucky and Steve had become almost suffocatingly overprotective, unable to leave Tony’s side, regardless of the Extremis running through their veins. Turned out they needed more healing from the process than Tony did, the codependency taking a toll on the team and their newly formed relationship.

That’s why now, Steve was cautious about his response. He knew that the man needed space sometimes. He needed space before they were dating, so of course Tony would need time for himself now. And he knew that Tony wasn’t lying… exactly. Every trip down to the lab, with each table littered with projects that only Tony could understand, was more than enough evidence. But it was more than that. The way Tony had buried his face into Steve’s chest to avoid contact had been answer enough. There was something else going on.

_What if something was wrong? What if he’s sick again? What if? What if? What if? _

Steve shook his head. Tony was fine, he knew that for sure. JARVIS confirmed for him that morning.

“Alright, Tony,” Pepper called, her heels sounding her entrance to the room. “Stop stalling; it’s time to go.”

Tony groaned, pushing further into Steve. “I don’t wanna. I’d rather drink motor oil.”

Steve chuckled, drawing away from his boyfriend. Now _that _wasn’t a lie. There was little Tony hated more than a board meeting. “Go,” he said softly.

“What’s in it for me?”

Steve smiled. “If you behave, I might give you a treat.”

“Oh?”

“If you _really _behave, said treat might involve a flat surface.”

Tony huffed out a deep sigh, hand running through his already unruly hair. “Thanks a lot, Rogers. Now, I’m going to be thinking about that the entire meeting.”

“Who are you kidding, Stark? You would have been thinking about that anyway.”

Tony laughed, leaning up to press a final kiss on Steve’s lips. “You know me so well,” he said when he drew away.

_I do. _

Steve watched as Tony continued over to Bucky to give him the same treatment. “Want me to pull the fire alarm so you don’t have to sit through the whole meeting?”

“Oh my God, yes,” Tony said, echoed only by Pepper’s cry of _“No!”._

“You are relentless, Ms. Potts.”

“And you, Mr. Stark, are ridiculous.” Pepper glided over and grabbed Tony by the collar, yanking him towards the elevator like an exasperated mother with an unruly child. “Gentlemen, I’ll return him later this afternoon.”

“Thanks, Pepper,” Steve smiled.

He watched the pair trail away and heard the familiar ding of the elevator opening. The doors had barely shut before a shrill alarm shrieked over the kitchen speakers. Bucky bounded over to the tablet Tony left behind, tapping at the screen. “SHIELD alert,” he said. “Directly from Fury.”

Dress shoes slapped against the tiles and Steve just barely caught Tony sliding back into the kitchen. “Please tell me world needs saving. JARVIS?”

“SHIELD has reported movement of a HYDRA cell in Belarus. Per Director Fury, aerial footage shows large amounts of unidentified tech amassing in their facility. Just this past hour, energy spikes have been reported, knocking out several towns’ worth of power outages. An order for immediate deployment has been issued for the whole team.”

“Hell, yes!” Tony cried, pumping a fist in the air. “Sorry, Pep, you’ll have to give my regards to the board. The world needs Iron Man right now. Score one for international terrorism.” Tony winced, looking over at Steve. “Probably could have phrased that a little better.”

“Probably.”

“Put on the suit?”

Steve smiled. “Put on the suit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be all fluff, but WHOOPS, turns out I'm incapable of writing without adding angst. Also, I know I have a billion other fics to work on, I just wanted a billion and one, so don't @ me.
> 
> Also. The UroClub is 10000% a real product. A real product that real people own and definitely use. Just something that I'm sure that you wanted to spend your Sunday night thinking about. You're welcome.


	2. Chapter 2

“How are we looking?” Steve asked.

_“Honestly, pretty good for a Monday,” _came a reply in his ear. A small explosion came from his left. _“Well, maybe not that good,” _Clint corrected.

Steve paused, and took in the scene in front of him. Belarus was beautiful – well, it would be, once HYDRA’s stain was removed. The town they were in was quaint, cobblestone streets and painted row houses surrounded him, greenery spilling into the cityscape through courtyards and open balconies. What was left, anyway. Some of the structures lay in ruin, a devastating consequence when the Avengers were in town.

They’d left for Belarus immediately, following Fury’s intel to where HYDRA had been stockpiling a small arsenal. The group had been small and disorganized, clearly not expecting to be found so quickly. Unfortunately, disorder breeds chaos, and they were unable to wrangle all the insurgents before they took off to the nearby town, ready to go out with a bang.

The uncertainty worried Steve the most. This didn’t necessarily seem like a huge threat – Bruce was still safely tucked away in the quinjet as they were nowhere near calling for a Code Green – but sometimes an opponent with no plan ended up with the worst outcomes. It certainly seemed that HYDRA had no qualms for taking innocents down with them.

“Speak for yourself,” Bucky said next to him, dropping an unconscious agent to the ground. “I think we’re almost done here.”

_“Clear here,” _Natasha added over the comm. _“I’ll go help Clint clean his mess.” _

_“Thanks, mom,” _came the snarking reply.

“Tony, where are you?” Steve asked. He hadn’t seen the suit fly around, and it had been a while since he’d heard him chime in on their channel.

_“A bit busy at the moment,” _Tony said with a grunt. _“Ask again later.” _

Steve’s heart jumped in his chest. Tony had been out in the field since he’d been sick, but this was the first time he’d been out where they really had to throw their weight around. Tony was fine, he was _fine, _Steve reminded himself. It had been months since he’d been sick, and Tony could more than handle himself in a fight. But that nagging in the back of his head just wouldn’t leave, no matter how many times he shooed it away.

“JARVIS, where is he?” Bucky pushed, clearing thinking along the same lines as Steve.

_“Third house from the corner.”_

The pair raced off, following the AI’s directions. The crumbling house – of course it was the collapsing one, _of course it was – _groaned and shook as they approached. Panicked visions of Tony caught in the debris, and suffocating underneath raced through Steve’s mind as he charged through the open doorway without so much as a second thought. The sight that he was met with, however, was nothing that he could have ever imagined.

“Tony! Tony, are you- ” Steve broke off, coming to a screeching halt at the scene in front of him. He felt Bucky charge in right after him, face planting right into his back.

Bucky let out an _oomph _before pushing around Steve to get a look. “Steve, the hell are you – where’s Tony? Is he – _holy shit,” _he gasped.

Across the room – well, what was left of it – was Iron Man, holding up part of a collapsed ceiling, over his head. But that wasn’t what had stopped them in their tracks. No, it was the fact that Tony, who was _not _in the Iron Man suit, was holding up the other half of the debris by himself, muscles straining in his under suit.

“Tony!” Steve cried, rushing forward.

“Relax, I’m fine,” Tony huffed out. “J, any life signs to the left?”

_“No, Sir. We’re clear,” _came the automated voice from the suit.

“Um, should we help?” Bucky asked, wide eyes still gaping at Tony.

“No need, hot shot, I got this. Alright, J, let’s do this.” Steve watched as both Tony and the suit lifted the concrete slab over their heads and chuck it to the side, as if it weighed nothing more than a sack of potatoes. Tony then grabbed remaining chunks of structural rebar onto the pile of rubble without a second glance. “We good, J?”

_“Everything is structurally stable, Sir.” _

“Awesome,” Tony grinned. He stepped back and wiped down his flight suit, as if this was a completely normal situation that definitely shouldn’t be raising Steve’s blood pressure.

“Tony!” Steve shouted again, rushing over to the smaller man to check for injuries. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, Cap, I’m peachy,” Tony smiled. “In desperate need of a shower,” he added, picking some stone out of his hair, “but in one piece.”

“What or Earth were you thinking? You could have hurt yourself!”

Tony shrugged. “J couldn’t hold the whole thing by himself; just thought I’d lend a hand. Relax, mother hen, I’m _fine.” _

“Yeah, you’re fine,” Bucky murmured lowly, barely any gray left in his eyes. “You were more than fine, doll, _damn, _you were- ”

_“We’re still on comms!” _came Clint’s screech. _“Comms with a very public channel! Please, for the love of God, spare us your bedroom talk and help us wrap this up.” _

Tony snickered, making obscene kissing noises in order to hear Clint groan again. “Glad you enjoyed the show, Frosty,” Tony winked at Bucky. “Now, let’s put a pin in this, and save it for later, yeah? For Clint’s sake, if anything.”

_“Thank you!” _came the tinny response in Steve’s ear.

“What were you even doing? There’s no one in here.”

Tony startled, no doubt remembering his reasoning himself, before rushing over to where the ceiling should have fallen. “There were no _humans_ in here,” Tony corrected, as he crouched down and gently scooped up some bits of rubble. Bits of rubble, that seemed to have a mind of their own as they started wiggling in Tony’s arms.

“Oh my God,” Bucky whispered, gasping when the rubble started to let out tiny squeaks, three pairs of eyes looking back at theirs. “Kittens?”

Tony nodded, shifting the kittens into one arm so he could scratch gently at one head with the other. “JARVIS hasn’t sensed the mom yet, but at least these three didn’t end up like pancakes today,” he said with a smile. One of the kittens started to paw over their eyes. “Looks like I’m not the only one who need a shower, huh?” Tony continued gently, talking now only to the cats. “Let’s get you out of here. J, where’s the nearest shelter? Time to get you three cleaned up for your mama.” And with that Tony sauntered out of the collapsed building, right past Steve and Bucky wearing equally dumbstruck faces, seemingly without a care in the world.

As soon as Tony was gone, Bucky grabbed at Steve’s wrist. He could feel the metal joints pinch his skin as the grip tightened. “Steve,” he said.

“I know.”

_“Steve.” _

_“I know.”_

“He ran into a collapsing building to save some kittens.”

“Yep.”

_“Kittens.” _

“Yep.”

“And did you see him- ”

“Yes, Bucky, I saw.”

“He lifted it like it was nothing!”

“I saw, Bucky. I was there when it happened.”

_“Holy shit.” _

“Yep.”

“I just,” Bucky broke off with a laugh. “I can’t even compute this. I honestly don’t think there’s any blood left in my brain.”

Steve glanced down at Bucky’s crotch. “You’re right,” he agreed. “There’s nothing left up there.”

Bucky let go of Steve’s wrist and punched him in the shoulder. “Like you can talk, Mr. Alpha. You we’re just about ready to throw him onto the ground and take him right here!”

_“Uh, guys?” _came another response, sounding defeated. _“Just another reminder that we’re still on team comms,” _Clint sighed. _“Thank you again, for shattering my childhood illusions of Captain America and Bucky Barnes, and for ensuring that I get no sleep tonight. If anyone needs me, I’ll be banging my head against the wall until I pass out.” _

_“Speaking of banging,” _Natasha’s voice added in, and then Tony’s laughter took over, ringing brightly in Steve’s ear. He resisted a curse. Last thing he needed was to hear Tony’s teasing for drooling over the other man _and _swearing.

_“That’s it,” _Clint replied. _“I’m done. I quit – again. I’m off to join HYDRA; I’m sure they don’t have to deal with this bullshit. Hawkeye, out.”_

* * *

The clock was mocking him. It was broken, it had been when they’d walked into the room, but Steve couldn’t look away. Couldn’t stop looking at the second hand jerking back and forth, indefinitely forced to replay the same moment in time over and over again. It was a true reflection of the meeting they were in. It was Steve himself that had instituted immediate debriefs after missions – assuming no life-threatening injuries. 

It was the first of a two-part minimum debrief process; some of there well known conflicts had debriefs that spread weeks, much to his team’s dismay. Even the double meeting debriefs were a hassle wrangling everyone in, but Steve knew it was a necessity. He liked having an immediate meeting, despite being exhausted from the mission; everything that had happened was still fresh in everyone’s mind – and considering that half of the members on the team didn’t bother filling out post-mission paperwork, it was essential to get those details, in case they get lost at a further meeting.

The first meeting was the info dump, as Tony liked to call it. They went over everything they saw from their position, discussed flaws that happened in the field, and sent any relevant information to their intel group. Then, they would reconvene the next week to review everything that was discussed, correct any issues, talk about next steps.

Even working halfway around the world didn’t change anything. Which is how they ended up in the back room of some police station in Belarus, discussing with Fury about what had transpired. Or at least, that’s what Steve had assumed they were talking about, as he was more interested in the clock. And replaying the image of a sweaty, grimy Tony in his sinful flight suit, handing kittens off to an officer with strict instructions to deliver them to an animal shelter, as if he’d just found them on the street instead of overhead pressing fallen ceiling like it was nothing to save them.

He knew Bucky echoed his own predicament. He could feel the tension radiating off the other man, paired with the tapping of his metal fingers on the table, in time with the broken clock. The two men had their thighs pressed together, and about what Steve could assume was three days ago, he’d reached down and grabbed at Bucky’s leg to stop it from jerking; he’d been unable to move it since, now gripping it like a lifeline, feeling the heat from Bucky’s leg pool under his hand.

“-anything to add?”

He barely heard it, as he was more focused on watching Tony’s hands move gracefully across his tablet, not even pretending to pay attention to the meeting. On the infinite list of reasons why he loved Tony, his hands probably cracked top five. How his fingers danced across a keyboard, and how his callused palms dragged across his back, making him shiver. They were completely different than Steve’s, but an artist hand, no less. They could fabricate any of Tony’s thoughts into reality, working at the same speed as his massive brain, tough enough to mold metal, but delicate enough to work on circuit boards. They were as steady as a surgeon’s, and as firm as a politician’s. Oh, and apparently, they could support literal tons of concrete one second, then cradle kittens gently the next. He could almost feel his touch now, teasing, just like the rest of Tony, reaching into his pants and –

Bucky elbowed him hard, startling him from his daydream. _“What,” _he hissed, barely catching Tony’s amused glance shot their way.

Bucky jerked his head to the left, to the screen where Fury was displayed, glowering at him, arms crossed and face resting in grim disappointment as usual. Even while not there in person, Steve could feel his domineering presence in the room. “I asked,” he said, “if you had anything else to add, Captain? Or is there somewhere else you need to be?”

Natasha opened her mouth but was quickly stopped by Clint, his hand smacking over it. “Don’t,” he grit out. “Just don’t.”

Natasha rolled here eyes, but obliged, leaning back in her chair to where she was filing her nails with a knife tip. “Baby,” she whispered under her breath.

“Alright, that’s enough,” Fury sighed, sensing a fight coming. “We’ll meet on this again next week. Get some rest; you deserve it.”

“Maybe we should shack up here for the night, get some rooms,” Bucky said, eyes blazing. “I’m sure we’re all beat.”

“I disagree,” replied Tony, not able to hold back his smile. “Nothing beats sleeping in your own bed. It’s a long flight in the jet, but I think it’s worth it. All in agreement?”

The rest of the team voiced their consent, Natasha’s eyes bright with amusement, Bruce shaking his head fondly. Clint leaned across the table and glowered at Bucky. _“Suffer,” _he hissed, breaking off in a yowl as Steve heard a thud under the table, no doubt Bucky retaliating like the mature adult that he was.

“Alright, gang, let’s blow this popsicle stand,” said Tony, walking – no, _sauntering, _the asshole was sauntering – out of the room. “Barton, you flying?”

Clint dipped out of the room with impressive speed, a slight limp in his left foot; one that definitely wasn’t there earlier. Natasha and Bruce followed, Bruce having the decency to shoot a compassionate wince their direction.

“Get your shit together,” Fury added. “I’ve dealt with children more mature than you.” With a final shake of his head, the screen darkened, disconnected by their frustrated boss.

“We’re gonna die,” Bucky said to Steve, still looking at the open doorway, as if waiting for Tony to strut back in.

“Oh, absolutely. How fast is the quinjet?”

“Not fuckin’ fast enough,” Bucky sighed. “I never thought I’d ask this, but do you think you can put me back on ice until we get home? I might not make it.”

“Fat chance,” Steve snorted as he stood, yanking Bucky up with him. “You said until the end of the line, pal. If I die of blue balls, you’re comin’ with me.”

Bucky adjusted his pants as he walked, waddling to the door. “I knew that would bite me in the ass one day,” he responded. “Come on, _pal. _Get your shit together before I figure out it’s in my best interest to leave you here so I can have Tony to myself.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

* * *

It did almost kill them. The flight was long and excruciating, regardless of the fact that the quinjet’s superior design chopped a few hours off total airtime, as compared to a standard airplane. Steve tried everything as a distraction – and while some worked for a bit, the spell was broken every time by Tony making the slightest of moves. Which, knowing their hyperactive boyfriend, was every few minutes. He prattled between the cockpit and the hull, chatting with Clint about the new interface it had, to discussing a science journal he and Bruce were reading. He even decided that it was a good time to look at a slight operation snag in Natasha’s Bites that happened in the field. Apparently looking at an operational snag meant that he had to take the entire thing apart, with only his hands again – _those damn hands –_ and start over from scratch.

It was unlike Tony to be so hyped up on energy after a flight, no matter how involved it was. None of them usually were. Regardless of how strenuous the mission was, adrenaline would eventually crash, and they’d spend any journey back lounging, reading, resting, and such. Today was different, as Tony bounced around the jet like a popcorn cooking, much to everyone’s amusement. Well, _almost _everyone, as Steve looked back over at Bucky, who had pushed himself into a corner, crossed his arms and locked his jaw, pretending to sleep. Steve knew what Tony was doing, and he knew that _Tony _knew what he was doing.

The jet they’d taken – the one they use on all of their longer journeys – was large enough to be equipped with stacked bunks, and even a bathroom. Steve couldn’t remember how many times he’d thought about grabbing Tony and dragging him over to the small washroom or the cots with only a mere privacy sheet, pride be damned. People joined the mile-high club all the time; in fact, he and his boyfriends joined a few months ago, so it wasn’t that much of a big deal, right? Sure, Natasha might stab him, and Clint had already threatened to crash the plane, but it didn’t stop Steve from thinking numerous times that it was worth the risk.

When Clint told them to get ready to land, he thought it was a joke – maybe it was because Clint had joked about landing twice before, going so far as opening the ramp over the Atlantic Ocean after seeing Steve and Bucky jump to their feet. _Absolute asshole, _Steve thought. Steve wasn’t prone to childish repayment, but both of his boyfriends were, and it just might so happen that he’ll look the other way in the near future when _karma _chooses to rear her ugly head.

Steve forced himself to stay put, not giving himself hope until be saw Natasha start to gather her things. _Finally. _He looked back over at Tony, who had finally managed to pass out a few hours ago, body twisted in the thin blankets, breathing deeply. It was clear that he needed it, and while it stung that Tony hadn’t been sleeping – sleeping with _them_ for that matter – Steve decided to let the conversation slide for another time. Besides, he didn’t think convincing Tony to stay in bed tonight would be difficult.

He felt the jet touch down, and Steve’s shoulders slumped, the weight of the mission and journey home slipping away. Like with any other job they had, there was always a feeling of instant relief when they landed. A feeling of _home; _one that he didn’t think he’d ever find again, one that he can’t think of living without again.

The others started moving around the hull, collecting their belongings, but Steve found himself homing in on Tony again. He slunk over to the sleeping man, feeling Buck follow his motions like his own shadow.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Clint yelled, waking Tony in the process. The brunette blinked wearily in the blanket he’d wrapped around himself, frowning at the disruption. Clint came charging from the cockpit, gear wrapped up in his arms. “Don’t you dare start anything!” he shouted, running down the ramp towards the tower. “I need to be at least three floors away before the canoodling starts!”

Bruce chuckled, grabbing the book he had been reading. “Have fun,” he chided, walking down the gangway, a smirking Natasha following close behind.

_Alone at last, _Steve thought. He looked back at Tony, the man still seemingly getting his bearings from being woken up. Steve was unable to hold back a chuckle, brushing some of Tony’s hair out of his eyes. “We’re home,” he said quietly, watching as Tony melted under his touch. “Ready for bed?”

Tony smiled like the Cheshire Cat, clamoring out of the bed. “Home already? Wow, what a short flight.”

Bucky snorted, yanking Tony into a filthy kiss. “You think you’re funny, don’t ya?”

“Well, statistically speaking- ”

“Yeah, yeah,” Bucky interrupted, pulling Tony towards the jet ramp. Steve followed the pair in a daze, leaving all their things behind, to be picked up later. JARVIS would lock everything down until then. Soft lights guided them into the tower, and as soon as they were in the elevator, JARVIS started the assent to the penthouse silently. _Who would have thought the AI would be the ultimate wingman? _Steve smiled to himself, pressing a kiss into Tony’s dirty hair. He could still smell the rubble in his hair. He shivered with anticipation.

The doors opened smoothly, and Tony stepped out onto their floor, making his way left. Steve and Bucky followed slowly, a pair of lions stalking their next meal.

They watched Tony amble over to the kitchen, opening the fridge to pull up a water bottle. The smaller man threw his head back and took long gulps, looking like he was meant to be on the cover of a dirty mag. Tony seemed to make anything and everything sexual, much to Steve’s dismay. Tony gasped as he finished his drink, placing the empty bottle down to stretch his arms above his head. He was talking, Steve thought, but he couldn’t hear over the blood rushing in his ears. Tony brought his hands down – _those damn hands – _and cracked his knuckles and that was _it. _

Steve charged forward grabbing Tony’s hips and spinning the other man around, pressing their lips firmly together. He swallowed Tony’s gasp, hands digging more firmly into his sides as he felt Tony slump against him, responding eagerly. Tony’s hands ran across Steve’s back, one trailing up to yank at the bottom of Steve’s hair and the blonde groaned, reaching down to hook his own hands under Tony’s legs, tossing him onto the kitchen island.

Steve’s mouth left his only to attach to his neck, worrying at the skin roughly. Tony started to moan but it was caught again, stopped by Bucky leaning over Steve to have a taste. Steve’s hands trailed up Tony’s spine until he felt the zipper at the back of his flight suit. He tugged it down harshly, only to stuff his hands down the open back, feeling the glorious heat from Tony’s body spread out under his fingertips.

Bucky took over pulling the suit down, huffing in frustration as the fabric got caught up in Tony’s current position. He yanked Steve away from Tony, pulling the smaller man off the counter. Tony sucked in deep breaths in front of them as he stood on shaky legs. His eyes we’re almost completely black, and a tent had formed in the front of his suit. Steve and Bucky each grabbed the suit at a different shoulder, pulling it down to his waist.

Steve could have roared in satisfaction, unable to stop himself from reaching out to touch the tanned – _healthy _– skin. He flipped Tony around again, plastering himself against his back, grinding into him.

“Bed,” Tony gasped, pushing back into Steve.

“No time,” Bucky replied, grabbing at Tony’s flight suit and yanking it the rest of the way down. Steve hummed his agreement, looking down at Tony’s now rear backside, cupping the toned ass with his hands. _Mine, _Steve thought possessively. _Can’t believe that this is mine. _Bucky shoved him gently, as if reading his thoughts, before crouching down and slipping between Tony’s legs. He cast a final glance at Steve – _ours, _the look corrected, _he’s both of ours – ­_before swallowing Tony down completely.

Tony spasmed in Steve’s grip, moaning deeply as one of his hands moved down to cradle Bucky’s head. He bent over the counter, pushing closer to Bucky and further into Steve’s iron grip. “Then what the hell are you waiting for?” the man asked breathlessly, looking over his shoulder back at Steve.

“Hell if I know,” Steve replied. He reached down and tapped at Bucky’s shoulder. He released Tony only to replace it with Steve’s fingers, wetting them liberally. Tony continued to writhe under him, Bucky continuing his ministrations with his hands as he sighed around Steve’s fingers, taking them deeper.

Everything else started to slip away, Steve only grounded by the two men under him. They moved as one, each one an extension of the other two. They were all that mattered, and there was nothing else.

_Mine, _Steve thought again. _Both of them. Mine. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy!   
Chapter 3 is almost done as well; should be up by the end of the week. :) 
> 
> -JAT


	3. Chapter 3

He knew something was missing before he even opened his eyes. The void next to him – which was becoming more and more common with each passing day – confirmed that Tony was gone, up and off to other things. Steve cracked his eyes open to glare at the bare space in front of him. On the other edge of the bed lay Bucky, still heavy with sleep, but with an arm stretched out into the opening, reaching for a man that was no longer there.

Steve bit down a sigh of frustration. He wasn’t sure why he was even surprised that Tony wasn’t there as it seemed to be the new norm. Just a downside of being Captain America – continual hope was a bitch. Maybe he thought this time would have been different because of the night they’d spent together. After finally gathering the strength to leave the kitchen, Steve and Bucky had carted Tony off to their bed where they pressed repeat until the early hours of the morning. It was as earth-shattering as always, and afterwards, Steve had drifted off with a smile on his face, already thinking of what the morning would bring.

But apparently what it would bring was fuck-all. Which seemed to bug Steve more than any of the other empty-bed mornings. Sure, Steve knew that Tony was a workaholic and when he says, “_genius waits for no one!”, _he means it. Not being a genius himself it’s hard to compare, but he liked to think it was a literal itch under Tony’s skin, the brain refusing to rest before new ideas where shot out into physicality. Even if that meant getting an idea at three in the morning.

But sex was different. Tony was always around the next morning. It was something that Steve and Bucky always secretly looked forward too, even sometimes more than the sex the night before, especially after Pepper had seen Tony stumbling out of their bedroom with them one morning, after they’d first gotten together.

_“I never thought I’d see the day,” she murmured, smiling into her cup of coffee, while Tony sleepily glared at the empty carafe. _

_“What, Tony sleeping?” Bucky joked. _

_“Well, yes,” Pepper chuckled, “but him sleeping and staying the whole night. I’ve worked for Tony for over twelve years and I’ve never once seen him spend the night. He told me once it was one of his cardinal rules; he says it shows feelings, which he had convinced himself were things he didn’t have.” _

_Steve flushed, his heart racing in his chest as he looked back over at Tony. The engineer wiped a hand over a contentedly tired face, and upon hearing the coffee machine starting on another batch, turned to flop into Bucky’s chest, satisfied that the other man would hold his weight until his drink was ready. God, did he love that man. _

_Pepper hummed, smirking at Tony, who hadn’t even bothered to acknowledge (or realize) Pepper’s presence. “Guess you two are keepers.” _

Tony was _always _there the next morning. In fact, it was hard to get him to move those mornings – not that Steve or Bucky ever wanted to. He was always so soft, warm and pliant against the other two men. How he managed to fit so well between them, slotting perfectly in each nook and crevice, was beyond Steve. He sprawled across the bed and clutched to each of them like an octopus, trying to soak up every bit of the afterglow.

And when he woke, _God, _his face – the face that Steve had lost many a sketch book to. Doe eyes blinking open and his forehead free of furrows and worry lines that were usually there, burdened by stress. He’d catch their gaze and smile softly, but Steve’s favorite part was the slight flush of cheeks. While seemingly impossible, Tony Stark does in fact blush, and Steve’s heart sang every time he thought about how he and Bucky were the only ones who got to see it. It took Steve a while to figure out why he did – it certainly wasn’t from their previous activities. While Steve liked to think that he and Bucky were adventurous in bed, it surely hadn’t cracked Tony’s top ten. No, it was for a reason much simpler than that. It was because when Tony woke up, the first thing he saw was that Steve and Bucky had stayed the night as well.

Something was wrong. He knew, he just _knew _something was wrong. Steve had assumed that it was something medical, that maybe Tony was feeling ill again, or had never fully recovered, but maybe it was something else. Last night had been wonderful – at least, Steve had thought so, but apparently, he was wrong. Tony never leaves after sex, he _never _had. Even the last time they’d been together he’d – Steve paused. _When was the last time they’d had sex? _

Frustration mounted in him, and Steve grabbed a nearby pillow and cuffed Bucky in the back of his head with it, intent on having someone else suffer with him. Bucky was up in a flash, reaching down quickly to snag a hidden knife before pouncing up. Gray eyes darted around all available entrances and exits before realizing Steve was the only other one in the room. Bucky scoffed, flopping back down on the bed. “Is it too much to ask to wake up normally? Maybe with even a ‘_good morning Bucky, don’t you look ravishing this morning?_’. At this rate, I’ll be out of brain cells by the end of the year.” The brunette grumbled and turned back away from Steve, shifting back down to a comfortable position.

Steve glared back. “Is it too much to ask to not have knives where I sleep? I thought we agreed no weapons in the bed.”

“Technically, it wasn’t in the bed, it was _under _the bed,” Bucky replied, flipping Steve off over his shoulder. “Besides, that argument is moot considering you have your shield in here.”

“The shield’s not a weapon.”

Bucky turned to face him, wearing a deadpanned face. “Right, so how does that explain Vienna?”

“We don’t talk about Vienna,” Steve replied.

“No,” Bucky argued. “You don’t talk about Vienna so HR doesn’t _hear _about Vienna.”

“What crawled up your ass and died?”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Bucky answered. “Forgive me for not being peachy enough after being smacked awake. Which was for what reason, again?”

Oh, right. He could bicker with Bucky another time. Steve paused, thinking how best to phrase his conundrum. But, let it be known that Steve Rogers was never subtle, so he just blurted out, “When was the last time we had sex?”

Bucky blinked. “I’m sorry?”

“Sex, Bucky. When was the last time we slept with Tony.”

Bucky sat up and scooted closer to Steve. “Maybe Tony was right,” Bucky murmured, mostly to himself. “Did you hit your head yesterday?”

Steve smacked Bucky’s wandering hand away. “No, I’m fine,” he snapped. “I’m not talking about yesterday, I’m talking about before that.”

“Um,” said Bucky, starching the back of his head. “It was, well, I don’t really know, to be honest.” He paused. “Why?”

“Tony’s not here.”

A dark look passed over Bucky’s face. “He’s never here.”

“But we had sex last night.”

Bucky paused again, looking at the empty spot in the middle of the bed. “Was it… bad?”

“You’re asking the wrong person, Buck,” Steve sighed. “I ask myself that every time, because what if it is? I mean, he’s Tony Stark! He’s been with monarchs and supermodels and- ”

“Steve, you’re literally Captain America. I’ve seen you lift a bus before.”

“Yes, I _know,” _Steve replied. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t know that we were, uh, _aesthetically pleasing _to most,” he continued, ignoring Bucky’s sniggering. “But that doesn’t mean anything if you’re shit in bed! I mean, I haven’t always been this way, and I don’t have a lot of experience, and- ”

“You were always more than enough for me,” Bucky answered sincerely. Steve huffed, shoulders collapsing, and he shot Bucky a shy smile.

“Thanks, Buck, really, but what if- ”

“Are you really having a sexual crisis right now?”

“Well, I don’t know what else to think!” Steve shouted. “I know you’ve noticed that Tony’s been distant, don’t you bullshit me. JARVIS says he’s healthy, we haven’t been arguing and when we’re together everything great, but he leaves! I just – I don’t know what else to think at this point!”

Bucky looked down, picking at an invisible thread in the sheets. _Still the wrong damn sheets. _“I think Tony would tell us if there was a problem,” Bucky said quietly.

“Would he, though?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Remember what you told me?” Steve asked. “The first time we talked about Tony and us, about the possibility of all of us being together. You said that you wanted to wait to make sure that Tony felt the same way, because he had a history of putting other people’s happiness before his.”

“And that I would never forgive myself if we did the same,” Bucky finished with a sad smile.

_You’re not the only one, _Steve thought. He and Bucky had tried to be careful when they started to date Tony – not just because of Tony’s apparent discomfort with commitment, but also because of the delicacy it took to date multiple people at once. Steve and Bucky had years – lifetimes, really – with just them. Adding Tony to their world felt like a completion to them, but they knew that the reason Tony never did anything about his attraction was because he was worried that he would be a fling, or that he would never measure up to Steve and Bucky’s love. Upon Tony’s entrance to the relationship, both Steve and Bucky had made a promise to each other that they’d never let Tony feel like the odd man out. Was that what this was? Was Tony feeling sidelined by his own boyfriends?

_Enough. _Steve was never one to let something lie – read any history book – and this certainly was no exception. “Let’s go,” Steve decided, ripping the sheets away from him and stepping out of bed. He grabbed the nearest pair of pants on the floor, tossing the other to Bucky.

“Where are we going?”

“To get Tony,” Steve replied. “We need to talk to him.”

“Maybe now isn’t the best time,” Bucky said, even though he got up and started dressing as well. “We just woke up and we’re not all here, and- ”

“If not now, when?” Steve asked. “You know we’ve been putting off saying something. We’ve had plenty of time to talk about how distant he’s been lately, but we never have? If we don’t do it now, we might never. Don’t you want to know why?”

“Yes,” Bucky answered before pausing. “No,” he added, much more quietly. “I just don’t want to say something we’ll regret.”

Steve deflated, his hand dropping from the door handle. “You and me both, Buck,” he sighed. “But will not saying anything be any better? I mean, if we’d never told Tony we loved him, would we even be here? He didn’t say anything then, and he probably won’t say anything now. It might not be in our best interest, but if something’s wrong, that has to take precedence, right? No matter the consequences?”

Bucky huffed out a chuckle. “Damn you and your conscience,” he said, walking past Steve and opening the door. “How do I look?” he asked, looking back at Steve.

“It’ll have to do,” Steve sighed, already heading for the lab.

* * *

“You’re here!” Tony shouted, too loudly – the way he got after not enough sleep and too much coffee.

“We’re here,” Steve replied softly, unable to hold back the smile as Tony bounded over to them like an excited puppy. _So far so good, _he thought. Maybe he was overthinking things, and Tony just had an itch he couldn’t scratch.

“Perfect timing,” Tony beamed pulling them back out of the lab and into the elevator, pushing the button for the garage.

“Do we need to be somewhere?” Steve asked while glancing over at Bucky, the other man just as clueless.

“I have something to show you!” Tony was practically vibrating in the elevator, fingers twitching as he impatiently waited for the doors to open again. The elevator had barely stopped before Tony grabbed Bucky and Steve pushing them into the closet roadster.

“It’s outside?” Bucky added, looking strangely at Tony. “Doll, maybe we should go change, and- ”

“No time,” Tony interrupted. “You look great, Buck, no need to worry.”

“Alright then,” Steve said, giving Tony a nervous smile. “If you insist. Where are we going that’s got you all nervous? You look like you’re going to drop Bucky and I off at the docks for someone to take care of us,” he tried to joke. Tony was throwing up miles of red tape that basically screamed ‘_let’s not talk about anything’. _It only accomplished making Steve more worried about the thoughts he’d had earlier in bed. Something was very wrong.

The joke fell horribly flat, more so when Tony burst into peals of hollow laughter. “Don’t be ridiculous, Cap.”

From there, the car ride was silent, and the tension built up with each passing minute. Tony switched between drumming his fingers on the steering wheel or aggressively flipping through the radio channels, both Steve and Bucky watching him with wide eyes. Steve came close to saying something hundreds of times, but nothing ever managed to come out. There was a distinct feeling of _wrong _in the air and they could all no doubt taste it on their tongues, but no one made the first move to address it.

Steve had spent most of his life in New York City, but never once had he cursed traffic as much as this. Each time Tony stepped on the brakes to slow the car to a stop, Steve itched to jump out and run away. Each minute ticked by, mocking him silently. Not only because it seemed to move slower, but also because he wasn’t sure how much longer they had, because he had no idea where they were going.

They were headed south, out of Manhattan, but that was all Steve knew, and he couldn’t muster up the courage to ask. For what seemed like years later, Tony finally pulled next to the curb. He had barely stopped the car before Steve stumbled out, desperate for fresh air. He looked around the street to realize they were in Brooklyn.

“What are we doing here?” Bucky asked.

“Surprise!” Tony shouted.

Steve looked about, dumbfounded. He glanced at Bucky’s equally confused face to make sure he hadn’t missed anything. “What surprise? A trip to Brooklyn?”

Tony huffed, twisting both men around to look at the building behind them. “Yes, and no. This is the surprise!”

“Is it in the building?”

“_No, _it is the building! Or, _buildings, _I should say.”

Steve blinked up at the structures in front of them. “I’m sorry, I’m confused. What is this?”

“Hear me out,” Tony started. “You guys don’t really have your own space. I mean, even at the tower, we all basically share everything, so I got to thinking, what if you had a little space to yourself? Your own Brooklyn bungalow! It’s far enough to be private, but also close enough for calls in case the world needs saving!”

Steve didn’t have an answer for that. What on Earth was he supposed to do with this?

Tony must have sensed the trepidation as he continued, more manic than before. “I wasn’t sure how many to get, but you can’t be too safe, you know what I mean? Think of all the things you can use it for! There’s tons of natural light, so you could have your own studio, Steve, and Bucky, you can have a huge kitchen for baking! Anything you want, just name it.”

“You bought us a street,” Steve said hollowly.

“No!” Tony interjected. “Not a whole street. I mean, I can. I think? I’m not really sure about the logistics, but it that was something that you wanted, and oh, that’s a no,” he trailed off when he saw Steve’s face. “It’s not a whole street. Just a few buildings on said street.”

“And why do we own these buildings on said street?” Bucky asked, looking up at their new purchases. “I mean, Steve and I could just paint and cook at the tower.”

“It’s in Brooklyn!” Tony said excitedly.

“And?”

“Brooklyn! I know it was a while ago, but you do remember growing up here, don’t you?” Tony snarked. “Now, unfortunately, your original condos were torn down, but these are pretty damn close. Much better location, if you ask me. The coffee shop down the block has these scones that- ”

“I’m sorry, I must be missing something, still,” Steve interrupted. “You bought some buildings for some scones?”

“Don’t be a beast, it wasn’t _just _for the scones,” Tony scoffed, smacking Steve on the shoulder. “I just thought you guys might want a place for yourselves.”

“A place for ourselves,” Bucky said slowly, frown blooming on his face.

“Just the two of us?” Steve pushed, frown echoing Bucky’s. What was Tony trying to say? It wouldn’t be the first time that Tony has gone overboard with a gift – and it most certainly won’t be the last – but “_a place for yourselves?” _

Steve could read between the lines. More accurately, what wasn’t there, or _who _wouldn’t be there. Leave it to Tony to distance himself from them in the most Tony way possible. Buying them a fucking building complex on the other side of the city. _Don’t let the door hit you on the way out!_

A flurry of emotion passed over Tony’s face, as if he hadn’t expected Steve to ask that. More like, he hadn’t expected Steve to catch on so quickly. It was gone in a flash however, replaced by a mask of indifference. “I mean, yeah, I guess.”

“Where the hell will you be?” Bucky asked, eyes blazing.

“Umm, I don’t know? At the tower?”

“So, you wouldn’t be there with us?” Steve pushed.

“Christ, _no, _is that what you wanted to hear?!” Tony shouted, suddenly explosive. A few people on the street paused at the outburst. “I don’t have to be there if you don’t- ”

“Then why the hell did you get it?” Bucky snapped back. “What the fuck is this, some sort of consolation prize?”

Tony rubbed shaking hands over his eyes. “I have no idea what the fuck you’re on about. I just, I can’t get into this now.”

“Oh, are you too busy right now?” Steve snapped, unable to hold the remark in. “Of course you are, you’re always busy. God forbid we have a conversation about this, and- ”

“You know what?” Tony snapped, sucking in a deep breath to calm himself. “I can’t do this, I just – not now.” He tapped a few buttons on his watch angrily.

“You are not about to call the suit right now,” Steve interjected.

“Oh, I absolutely am,” Tony said, already looking up at the sky.

“Tony, we need to talk about this!”

“Do we?” he asked, teeth clenched together. “I got you a gift, and you hate it. I’ll just return it! Happens with couples all the time.”

“Yeah, but those gifts aren’t usually buildings, Tony,” Steve sighed. “Listen, there’s been a bunch of miscommunication here, and we need to- ”

“We don’t need to do anything!” Tony shouted, hands shaking violently. He was twitchy, bouncing between each of his feet and hands wringing his wrists nervously, as if the thought of an argument was sending him into a conniption. “Let’s just move on, and- ”

“Tony we need to talk about this!” Bucky added.

“Ugh, fine!” The smaller man drew a hand through his hand and yanked at the ends violently. “Fine, just,” he sighed deeply again. “Just not here. You know I love a good scandal darling, but we’re in public, and- ”

“So?” Bucky asked face tight. “We own the block now, who gives a shit?”

Tony opened his mouth to reply, no doubt another scathing comment, but the argument was broken by a high-pitched whine cutting across the air, the Iron Man suit touch landing right behind Tony, opening automatically.

“Don’t you dare get in the suit,” Steve started, but Tony wasn’t listening, already half in.

Tony paused for a second, and Steve barely caught the quick flash of remorse dance over Tony’s face before it was gone, replaced by stone. “I can’t,” came the quiet reply, so quiet that Steve wasn’t sure it was meant for him to hear. With that, the helmet closed over Tony and he was gone, blasting off into the sky. People that had started to gather, drawn to arguments like moths to a flame, started to clamber around them, phone appearing to try and catch a picture of Iron Man in flight.

“Well, that’s just great,” Steve muttered under his breath, looking back at Bucky. The other man was still looking up at the sky, staring at nothing. He nodded, as if coming to an agreement with himself. He met Steve’s eyes for a brief moment before breaking away, shouldering past him.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to get some fucking pity scones,” Bucky snapped, not even waiting for Steve to reply before stopping down the street. There was a constant pull that tugged at Steve to follow Bucky, but even he couldn’t pick up his feet this time.

Steve stared up at the brownstones in front of him. Tony was right about one thing; there was a ton of natural light. He was sure that it would look absolutely stunning for the inside, the floor to ceiling glass looking out over the rest of Brooklyn. Steve would work from a simple easel, looking on recreating the bridge he could see out the window in front of him, his mind quiet, while Tony tapped away on a tablet, soaking up the sun like a cat on a settee with a few potted plants that surrounded him. Bucky would be clanging around in the kitchen, no doubt trying some new recipe he found online. Some of the windows would be open so they could hear the foot traffic down below, but more importantly to catch whiffs of coffee and scones from the shop down the block.

He hated it.

Steve sighed, placing his hands on his hips as he looked to where Bucky had slinked off to, and then to the sky to try and catch of the suit he knew was already long gone. All of them were prone to go off alone and sulk after a fight, licking their wounds in private, but he couldn’t let this one rest, Bucky’s scathing remarks be damned. He thinks he’ll never learn to quit. Besides, this was too important to let it lie. Sure, he’ll probably just end up screwing up their relationship with Tony, but if something was actually wrong with their boyfriend and he just ignored it? Steve would never forgive himself. With a destructive plan in mind, Steve made a sharp left away from the bakery, and headed back to Manhattan, one step at a time. Even he wasn’t crazy enough to risk a cab – after all, he needed time to figure out what the hell he was gonna say. He knew Tony needed that time as well.

* * *

_Should I wait for you? _he texted Bucky as he paced outside of Tony’s workshop. The glass was oblique, but not completely blacked out, filling Steve with some hope. Not enough for him to go charging in, exampled by his constant pacing and longing looks at the door. With his luck, Tony knew he was out here, and was just watching him walk around like a chicken with his head cut off.

_No, _came Bucky’s reply. _I’m on my way back, but you shouldn’t delay. You were always better with words than I was. Unfortunately for both of us, you’re our best hope for not getting us dumped. _

Steve snorted, looking back at the lab entrance. His phone chimed again. _Good luck, _Bucky said. _Tell him I love him. _

_Tell him yourself when you get here, _Steve typed. _Hurry up. _

There were a million things that coursed through his mind, excuses to delay the inevitable, but Steve ignored them. He’d faced certain death before, but astonishingly enough, he was more worried about what way on the other side of that door. Maybe it was knowing that regardless of what happened, he would still be there, and have to live with the consequences.

Steve sucked in a deep breath before typing in his code to open the lab. The doors opened without delay, answering the first question on Steve’s mind. Tony was upset, but not at lab access upset yet. Unsurprisingly, it did nothing to quell the turmoil inside him.

The lab was quiet, a rare feat in itself, and Steve’s echoing footsteps into the room felt like a march to the gallows. Tony was bent over a table, looking down at a mess of God-knows-what, but neither his hands or eyes where moving. His focus was clearly on Steve.

“Tony,” Steve said quietly. He couldn’t recognize his own voice. Tony said nothing. “We need to talk,” Steve continued.

He heard Tony snort softly. “Classic,” the man whispered, no doubt only intending for the comment to be heard by himself.

“I’m not here to talk about the properties,” Steve replied, the unspoken ‘_we’ll come back to that’ _hung in the air. “Something’s wrong, here.”

“Well, Steve couples argue and- ”

“No,” Steve interrupted. “It’s more than that, more than the fight. Something’s wrong with us. And I know you know. But I don’t. Bucky and I clearly have done something wrong here, or maybe said something that’s got you acting strange. Whatever it was, I’m sure it was just a misunderstanding, so just tell me.”

“Steve, there’s- ”

“_Please_,” the blonde whispered.

Tony sighed, obviously frustrated. Steve had heard it many a time before while he was on the phone with the board or in front of some quack interviewer, the meaning ranging from ‘_Lord, give me strength.’ _to ‘_How can I dumb this down for you?’ _Steve wasn’t a fan of it being directed at him. “It’s not you, it’s me,” Tony said slowly, grimacing at the words coming out of his mouth.

Steve wanted to be sick. Instead, he started laughing. “Right,” he gasped, watching his own demise in sick amusement. “You were the one that taught me that when someone says that, they mean the exact opposite.”

“I know, I know,” Tony replied, rubbing a hand over his forehead. “But I really don’t know how else to phrase this. I promise you, it really is me!”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

Tony huffed out a deep breath. “I haven’t been feeling well.”

Steve froze, his blood curdling in his veins. “I knew it,” Steve said, mostly to himself. I knew it, even though JARVIS told me- ”

“Wait, JARVIS- ”

“-you were fine, but I just _knew.” _

“No, Steve, I- ”

“Come on, I’m taking you back to bed. I’ll call the doctor and Bruce, don’t worry about anything, I’ll take care of it, I’ll take care of _you, _and- ”

“Steve, I’m fine!”

“No, you’re not!” Steve shouted. “You don’t get to do this, not now,” he hissed. “I will not let this happen again. Fuck your reasons and fuck your pride. Come on,” he added, reaching his hand out. “Let me take care of you.”

“Steve,” Tony sighed, not moving an inch. “It’s not,” he broke off, placing his hands on his hips. “You had JARVIS keep tabs on my health?” he asked.

“Three months ago, you were dying of a disease that shouldn’t have gotten to this fucking century, of course I had JARVIS keep an eye on you. I _knew_ something was wrong, Bucky and I both knew,” Steve replied, feeling wetness start to pour down his cheek. “JARVIS said you were fine, but you’re not, and I can’t find the right fucking sheets, and you bought us a whole goddamn block, and we were _right, _and now- ”

“Steve, no,” Tony interrupted, rushing forward. He grabbed Steve’s outstretched hand and pressed it to his neck – his new favorite habit – and felt Tony’s pulse jump under his fingers. “JARVIS wasn’t wrong; I’m probably the healthiest I’ve ever been,” he smiled. “Steve, yesterday I held up a ceiling! Last night, I bent in ways that I definitely thought were impossible for the human body to achieve before. Jesus, last week I went on a run with you and Sam!”

“But there’s still a problem,” Steve pushed. “Extremis should- ”

“Exactly,” Tony continued. “There is a problem. _Extremis _is the problem.”

“What? I don’t understand.”

“Yeah, kind of a tough pill to swallow,” Tony said. “But, it’s me, and having the thing that saved me end up being the thing that kills me is really just par for the course.”

“It’s killing you,” Steve whispered, blood curdling in his veins.

“No!” Tony cried, stopping Steve’s panic. “No, we’re nowhere close to that yet, it’s just- ”

“Just what?”

Tony sighed again, leaning into Steve’s chest before pushing away. “I’m not doing a very good job at explaining this.”

“No, not really,” Steve grit out. 

Tony groaned again, shaking his head. “I’m just so damn hot,” he whined.

Steve blinked. That certainly wasn’t what he expected to hear. “I’m sorry?”

“I am so fucking hot,” Tony repeated. “Like, all the time.”

“Yes?” Steve answered slowly, although it came out more like a question, unsure what Tony wanted to hear.

“No, Steve,” Tony huffed. “I’m serious! I’m hot, like _temperature _hot. You remember the videos I showed you from Killian’s files?”

Steve nodded, remembering the information Tony had shared with the group when they originally started tracking down the rest of The Killian’s experiments. The Avengers had seen a lot of things, but watching the patients try and contain that power – and watching them fail – had been gruesome. Even Bruce had commented that it looked exponentially worse than hulking out.

“Ok, now think of those videos again, but with me in them,” Tony said.

“But- ”

“I know what you’re gonna say,” Tony interrupted. “And yes, I did not receive anywhere close to the amount of treatments that they got. So no, I’m nowhere near the level or breathing fire or making Johnny Storm look like a parlor trick, but it’s still in me, Steve. No matter how little I have, I still _have _it.”

Steve nodded, trying to understand. In the days following Tony’s injections, Bruce monitored him day and night, looking for any sort of imbalance, and sign of the dosage having a negative affect on Tony, but there had been nothing. _Nothing. _How could they have missed this?

“You didn’t,” Tony said, Steve realizing he hadn’t kept his thoughts to himself. “I don’t think there was anything there to find – for a while at least. When I was first injected, nothing was wrong; I felt great. I think Extremis was expending itself on healing me, so I didn’t feel any of the nasty side effects. But I’m healthy now,” Tony added. “It’s got nothing else to do but build up in my chest.”

“And that’s what’s making you hot?”

“Extremis is like living with an active volcano under your skin. The shit even looks like lava, Steve, so _yes, _yes, it’s making me hot,” he snapped. “You guys are like a pair of industrial space heaters,” Tony continued. “And normally I love that! It’s like being wrapped up in a big, sexy, muscly burrito, but I just can’t anymore. I feel like I’m suffocating with all this heat. I just, I can’t sleep with you anymore. I can barely handle cuddling on the couch before I feel like I’m melting.”

“We can turn the temperature down in- ”

“Don’t bother, I’ve already tried that. For me to sleep comfortably through the night, I need the room in like the mid-50s, but I can’t do that to the two of you! It would be like living in an icebox, which you’ve both already done the time for!”

“Oh, Tony,” Steve murmured, stepping out to bundle the smaller man in his arms, before freezing. “Can I hug you?” he asked.

Tony nodded, throwing himself into Steve’s arms. Steve nosed at the edge of Tony’s hair, focusing on the heat beneath his skin. How many times had Steve felt the same thing, preening because he thought it meant that Tony was healthy? That Tony wasn’t sick and dying in the basement in the tower. Turns out he had a right to have been worried – not because Tony was sick, but that he was too healthy.

“Okay,” he said, pulling away from Tony as to not overheat him. “Let’s go get, Bruce. Maybe he’ll have some ideas on how to get your body temperature- ”

“Oh, that’s the least of my worries,” Tony laughed.

“What?”

“I told you, this shit builds in your chest,” Tony said. “And at first, I thought it was just the heat. It’s like a constant itch, right below your skin. It’s fucking irritating and it makes me twitch, so I thought that was it. That’s why I couldn’t sleep, but _no, _it’s not. Well, not all of it at least. I can’t sleep, because I literally cannot sleep.”

Tony looked over at Steve, but the blonde bit his tongue, gesturing for Tony to continue. “It looks me so long to notice, because I binge all the time. I mean, you know that I don’t keep normal hours and when I’m in the middle of something, I can be down here for days, but even I realized it was starting to get out of hand.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Steve scoffed. “You missed a whole week, once.”

“I know!” Tony agreed. “It was like I was the Energizer Bunny on crack! That surpassed even my college days, when Rhodey and I were hopped up on Red Bull and Ramen. But what really got me worried was not that I could stay here longer, was that even with my losing more days, I wasn’t getting anything done.”

“What do you mean?”

“I couldn’t finish anything,” Tony shrugged. “I had so many things buzzing around in my head, I couldn’t finish one before I found myself starting on the next. It’s just, _ugh, _there’s too much in here, now, even for me!” Tony shouted. “I don’t know how, but I _know _it’s Extremis. I just – I can’t _stop, _even if I want to. My brain, just won’t shut up, and I can’t Steve, I _can’t- _” Tony broke off, starting to smack at the side of his head.

“Hey, hey,” Steve replied, grabbing Tony’s hand, and pulling it away. “It’s alright, it’s okay,” he soother, pressing a kiss to Tony’s temple. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

“And this?” Tony laughed wetly, as he wiped at one of his fallen tears with his other hand. “This is the pièce de résistance.”

“Tony, you’re in pain, and- ”

“And I’m handling it like a hormonal teenager?” Tony replied. “God, and I thought puberty was bad.”

_“Tony- ”_

“The heat thing, I could have gotten used to – and I’m sure I could have made strong enough sedatives for the sleeping issue, but this?” he cried. “I feel _so much _all of the time. It’s like my emotions are dialed up to eleven at every fucking moment of the day!”

“Tony, I’m so sorry,” Steve whispered, tears forming in his own eyes. “I didn’t know it was hurting you so much.”

“And I thought it was just another thing I would get used to because Jesus, Steve, I’ve been crying like crazy. I had to put my mask down for a bit yesterday because I just about bawled when I handed those kittens over. And sometimes it’s not all bad! Like last night – _Christ, _Steve – it was like I was a teenager again, high on every drug known to man!” He broke off suddenly, drawing himself out of the happy memory. “But I get angry a lot more. Just little things, things that wouldn’t have even fucking bugged me before but it’s all I can think about. I’m so fucking angry all the time and it makes me just want to hit something and I- ” he sighed again.

_“I don’t want to hurt anyone, Steve,” _came the small whisper.

Steve tightened his hold on Tony, rocking the smaller man gently. “You would never,” Steve answered surely.

But Tony was shaking his head, pulling back from Steve’s embrace. “Haven’t I already?" he asked. "God, look at what happened today. And earlier this week, Clint snagged my coffee and I wanted to _throttle him. _I just wanted to- " he paused. "I wonder if this is what my dad felt," he added, before shaking his head again. “I can’t be trusted with this,” he negated. “I just can’t.”

“Tony, why didn’t you say anything?” Steve pleaded. “You were hurting, all this time, and we did nothing. Why didn’t you say anything, we could have gotten rid of it, we could have helped you!”

“Steve, honey,” said Tony. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you hovering. You _and _Bucky both. You won’t admit it, but I know you’re terrified of something happening to me. I take one extra breath and you’re about ready to ship me off to the ER. I understand,” he continued, cupping Steve’s cheek. “Lord knows that if our situations were reversed, I’d be the same way.”

“If anything happens to you, I can’t- ”

Tony shushed him. “I know,” he smiled. “So why say anything?”

Tony’s eyes were red, his voice raw with emotion. Steve wanted nothing more than to bundle him up tightly and bring him back to bed, to shield him from all of their problems. How had this happened again? He had been so focused on Tony’s health that he didn’t step back and realize that the medicine _was _the disease. They’d known Extremis was a virus going into this – they had files upon files of others that were infected that proved it. Had they really been so blind that it wouldn’t affect Tony the same way? Steve and Bucky had been besides themselves when Tony opened his eyes again, consequences be _damned, _and Bruce had –

Steve paused, looking back into Tony’s eyes, searching for something he already knew was there. “No,” he replied.

“What?”

“That’s not it,” Steve continued. “That’s not the whole reason.”

“Steve, I- ”

“It makes sense why you wouldn’t have told Bucky or I, but would you keep it to yourself? You spent the last year and a half getting rid of the remnants of Extremis, but you were just going to settle for it? Even when you were sick you knew when it got bad enough to tell someone else,” said Steve. “You would have told someone. You would have told _Bruce, _to come up with some way to stabilize it, so why didn’t you? Sure, Bruce would have told us, but Bucky and I would stand by you no matter what you decided to do.”

Silence. Tony’s cheeks were flushed and angry, but Steve wasn’t sure if it was from the newly discovered side effects from Extremis, or if he was embarrassed. Tony crossed his arms defensively. Embarrassed it was. _Guess I’m still not completely blind, _Steve thought. “Well?” he pushed.

“Nothing, it’s stupid.”

“Tony.”

Tony sighed again, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. “Nothing, I just, uh – I thought maybe you liked me better like this.”

Steve blanched. “I’m sorry?”

Tony clenched his jaw. “You and Bucky like me better like this,” he confirmed. “Admit it.”

“Like you better, how? Alive? Then yes, Bucky and I do like you better- ”

“Stronger, Steve! You like that I’m stronger.”

Steve crossed his arms. “I’m not following.”

“Yes, you are,” Tony scoffed. “You can’t deny that you and Bucky don’t like some of the Extremis side effects. When we went on that run with Sam? You couldn’t keep that dopey smile off your damn face. And I definitely look younger. My grays are gone, and- ”

“I like your grays,” Steve said softly.

“Maybe now, but you won’t like it when it comes with wrinkles,” Tony replied. “With Extremis my lifespan will most likely be longer, so I can be here longer with you, and- ”

“Tony- ”

“And yesterday?” Tony laughed. “Jesus, Steve, you about fucked me through the pantry when you saw what I can do now. But hey, at least I have enough stamina to keep up with you too, now. Small mercies, I guess.”

Steve hadn’t felt the first tears spill over his cheeks, only feeling the pounding in his brain as it replayed ‘_I though maybe you liked me better like this’ _again and again, blasting as if it were an air raid siren. How many people had liked him better after the serum? How many people thought that he was worth it now, or that he was useful? It had first been addicting to Steve after Rebirth, getting stares and admiration, getting chances and opportunities to do the things he couldn’t even dream about before. It hadn’t lasted long. Each stare was a reminder that he wasn’t worth looking at before, each opportunity a notice that he wasn’t enough before. With each passing day, it became clear that people only saw him – and only wanted him – for what he was now. And that was all he’d ever be wanted for. He’d sit and stare at his reflection nightly, cursing himself that his dream had become his nightmare.

_“Having the thing that saved me end up being the thing that kills me is really just par for the course.”_

Steve wanted to be sick. He felt his chest tighten and his vision turn sideways as he fell to his knees.

“Oh, Steve,” Tony sighed, crouching down besides him, trying to pull him up. “I didn’t say it to make you feel bad. I mean, I get it, and- ”

“I’m sorry,” Steve sobbed. “I’m sorry, I’m _so _sorry, Tony.” He grabbed at Tony’s hands – those damn hands – and cradled them against him. “This is all my fault, and I- ”

“Steve, please, it’s okay!”

Steve’s response was cut off by the lab doors opening and, a dark blur darting across the room before Tony was gone from his arms, now cradled by a panting Bucky.

“Bucky, you’re here. Can you get Steve a – why are _you _crying?”

“_I took the liberty of patching Sargent Barnes’s phone to the lab speakers. I thought he should have heard this conversation,” _JARVIS interjected, somewhat smugly.

“Nosey bastard,” Tony answered the AI, no heat in his voice. He patted awkwardly at where Bucky’s arms were wrapped around his middle, the man’s head tucked under the back of his neck. “Buck, come on, baby, work with me here.”

“How could you think that, doll?” Bucky answered hoarsely. “How could you let us make you think that?”

“I’m better this way,” Tony said with a small shrug. “I know the suit is shiny to look at and it has cool toys, but now I can be like you guys.”

“Is that what you want?” Steve asked, still sitting on the floor. He sure he looked like an absolute mess – he was not a pretty crier, that was for sure. Runny nose, red rimmed eyes, and a blotchy face. “To be like us?”

Tony paused. “Well, I- ”

“No, you don’t,” Steve cut him off. “And neither do we.”

Bucky hummed his agreement, pulling Tony closer to him. “We love you for _you, _doll.”

“Well, that’s great and all, but you can- ”

“You’re not listening,” said Steve, getting to his feet and bracketing Tony’s front, hands on his hips. “What do you think we were doing this whole time, _tolerating _you? Waiting for the off chance that you’d set shot up with something so we could bench press the same weight?”

“I’m not saying you didn’t love me,” Tony frowned. “I’m just saying, quantitatively, you love me _more, _because I can bend press the same weight as you.”

“You want to know why I was smiling when we went on that run with Sam?” Steve asked. “Not because you came with, or that you kept up with us. You were wearing those socks Bucky got you for Christmas – you know, the ones with the llamas in sunglasses? You pulled them all the way up so everyone could see and wore them with a pair of holey boxing shoes. You spent the whole run singing incorrect Marvin Gaye lyrics to make Sam crazy and making silly faces at babies in their strollers. The whole time, all I could think was how goddamn funny you were and how much I loved you,” he smiled. “And your grays? I fucking love your gray hairs. I miss them, actually. The ones right by your temples. It’s a reminder that we’re getting older, yes, but we’re getting older _together. _I see them and I think, ‘wow, how lucky am I that I get to spend the rest of my life with you?’”

“And last night,” Bucky added, “you were so beautiful, baby. Not because we lasted longer – you really don’t realize that we’re the ones that have trouble keeping up with you?” he laughed, pressing a kiss to Tony’s neck. “You could say anything, and that voice about brings me to my knees every time. You laugh into your kisses, and its euphoria for me. And your smile? God only knows how much time I’ve lost thinking about you laying in bed, smiling back up at me.”

“You have way too many mugs and they all have puns on them, but I love that when you pick a new one out, you smile as you read it, like it’s funny to you every single time,” said Steve.

“You argue with Clint almost every week about why waffles are better than pancakes and while I might not agree with you, I love how you get impassioned with anything that you do. You’re such a spitfire, and I love knowin’ that you’ve always got my back,” Bucky added.

“You make up rules when we go to sporting events,” Steve chuckled. “You have no idea what’s going on most of the time, but you make stuff up just to make us laugh. You’ve wasted so much time at these things – which I know you absolutely detest – but you go anyway, because you know we love it and you want to make us happy, and I love you so much for that.”

“You talk to DUM-E when you’re replacing his parts,” said Bucky. “I don’t even think you have to maintain him as much as you do, with how quality the material is, but you do anyway. You replace his parts and oil everything up by hand, like you’ve been doing since you were a kid. You give him crap a lot, but I know you see him as your own child. I love that you can find love in anything, even a washed up, brainwashed assassin like me.”

“You literally got in an argument with an artist and learned to blow glass just to piss him off!” grinned Steve. “You are such a determined, stubborn ass, but you’re _my _determined, stubborn ass, and I love you for it.”

“You painted Stevie’s ceiling, because you knew he wasn’t thinking. You try and brush everything off, but I have never met a more generous man in my life than you,” Bucky confessed. “You did that, and everything you do out of the kindness in your heart, and you do it without expecting anything in return, and I love you because of that.”

They could go on for hours, days maybe, of reasons, but Steve knew that right now it was enough, but it would also never be enough. Tony stood trembling in their arms, but Steve wasn’t sure what it was from anymore. _How did we get here? _It was a question that Steve had asked himself many-a-times in this century, but like always, he never had an answer for himself. All he could do now was hope he still had enough to pick up the pieces and move forward. He briefly caught Bucky’s gaze, the other man praying the same thing.

“Be honest with me,” Steve said quietly, his voice hoarse. “Please. If you had to choose – _for yourself, _let me remind you – would you keep Extremis?”

Tony was silent for a moment – too long, in Steve’s opinion. As if he was still figuring out if there was a right answer, one that he and Bucky wanted to hear. It was a stark reminder that as resilient as Tony was, he was just as fragile. Left flailing in the wind one too many times to know the difference between happiness and acceptance. Or more rather, the importance of the difference.

Steve was ready to ask again before Tony shook his head vehemently while pushing closer to Steve, as if burrowing further his chest. “No,” came the muffled reply. “I don’t want it.”

“Then it’s gone,” Bucky answered, voice just as broken. “I’ll call Bruce, and- ”

“No,” Tony cut him off. “Not tonight. I’m too,” he gestured to his head before shaking it again. “I’m too keyed up right now.”

“Okay, okay,” Steve agreed. “Not now.”

He felt Tony slump in his hold, an invisible weight gone from his shoulders. Steve felt the weight lift as well, as the ‘_not now’ _was not only regarding Extremis. There was so much to talk about, so much that they had missed, but Steve wasn’t going to touch it. Not now. Tony wasn’t the only one keyed up, wounds raw and open. There was so much to be said and done, but they were in the eye of the hurricane now. The worst seemed to be behind them, and all that was left could be battled together. Steve gathered Tony closer and closed his eyes, feeling Bucky reflect his motions.

* * *

Later that evening as he relaxed in his living room, Steve found himself wondering when the last time he’d even sat on this couch was. While their jobs were incredibly inconsistent, leaving irregular patterns of down time, it seemed that there was always something else to do. Training was never done, upgrades could always be made, intel could forever be collected. It was incredibly domestic, Steve thought to himself, that not only did he find a moment of solace in their schedule, it was knowing that there was so much to do and ignoring the need to do any of it. _Another couch potato on the rise, _he chuckled to himself.

There was a movie playing on the screen in front of him, muted, silent explosions playing out across the screen. Steve paid it no mind, however, much more intrigued with watching his fingers sink through silken locks of Tony’s hair, as the man lay sprawled across his lap, tapping idly on a tablet. The only sounds emanating being the faint taps o Tony’s fingers against the glass screen, the occasional sigh as Steve pressed harder into his scalp, and dull banging from the kitchen, where Bucky was in the middle of cooking dinner. Steve had no idea what he was making, but it smelled heavenly. With Bucky’s knack for ‘stress cooking’, Steve knew that he and Tony were in for a treat after what had happened today.

There was much to do: Bruce needed to be called, surgery needed to be set up, but when Tony led both Steve and Bucky up to their floor before hunkering down on the couch, Steve knew that everything else was a conversation for tomorrow. Tony trusted them to not push him farther, as Steve and Bucky trusted him to be fine for another night with Extremis roaring through his veins. Even know, Steve could feel the heat coming from Tony, but wasn’t sure if he actually felt it, or if it was subconscious. The need to hover and to get an accurate gauge of Tony’s health wasn’t present; this time, Steve knew that Tony would be fine.

“Do you know the first time I realized I loved you?” Steve asked quietly, rubbing his fingers gently through Tony’s hair.

“No,” Tony mumbled through half-lidded eyes.

“Neither do I,” Steve chuckled, breaking out into a grin, one that was echoed by Tony. “I don’t remember. I honestly don’t remember a time where I didn’t love you. Even when I think back to us on that Helicarrier, all I can remember is wondering whether your lips would taste like blueberries.”

Tony giggled in his lap, biting his lip, and Steve was unable to lean down and kiss the laugh away. For once, his mind was quiet. The never-ending cacophony of questions and ‘what-ifs’ were gone, replaced by a peaceful meadow of silence.

“I’m sorry,” Steve said again, pulling away from Tony. 

“I thought we said no more apologies,” Tony argued.

“Just this last time,” Steve placated. “I’m sorry that you couldn’t trust us enough to tell us what was going on.”

Tony frowned, sitting up to face Steve. “It’s not that I didn’t trust you guys,” he sighed, looking down at his hands in his lap. “It’s just, things we’re going so well,” he smiled. “I didn’t want to ruin anything.”

“I wouldn’t worry to much about that,” Steve replied. “Buck and I seem to have no problem making a mess out of everything on our own.”

“But you’re my mess,” Tony smiled, seemingly pleased with himself.

“If you still want us,” Steve replied.

His favorite pair of hands squeezed Steve’s own. “Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 = all the fluff


End file.
